Ah, Urban Outfitters. Treasure trove of hipster wares. Mecca of ironic graphic tees and neon plastic wayfarers. Purveyor of accessories that make you say, “Ooh, I love that!” and then, “Wait a second, that necklace is $40?” and finally, “Couldn’t I just… make that?”
Well, I can’t “just make that.” That pair of teeny-tiny jewelry pliers I own has drawn more yelps of pain from me than that one end table that seems to move a few inches to the left in the middle of the night. But that’s what Etsy’s for, right? I’m amazed when I see something so simple as, say, a peacock-feathered headband at Urban Outfitters for $30 when I know for a fact that there are gazillions on Etsy for half that. Gazillions, really. And doesn’t it just suck to spend $30 on something you think is so original, only to find that half the other “original” chicks at the trendy new restaurant are sporting the exact same thing?
At any rate, we all know Etsy’s got more creativity and individuality than a thousand shipments of glitter leggings–that’s why I love doing these Smackdowns, as we saw last week with Banana Republic. So let’s take a look at how our Etsy sellers stack up against Urban Outfitters.
(Full Disclosure: Yes, I worked at UO for a summer. Yes, I worked during that one tax-free back-to-school weekend and had to witness a thousand spoiled, rich fat girls squealing and crying for those ultra-stylish ballet flats. Yes, I might still be a little bitter from all the hours I had to spend at the Graphic Tee Table tri-folding shirts with moronic sayings like, “Gettin’ Lucky In Kentucky.” And I might be a little scarred from the weekend of the Gay Black Pride parade, wherein I had to physically help a young man into a pair of size 00 skinny jeans. But yes, despite all of this, I do still truly think Etsy is better. No, I’m not just being a bitterbottom. Enjoy.)
button bracelet, by urban outfitters, $24
floral accordian flap checkbook by urban outfitters, $18
pins and needles floral scarf, by urban outfitters, $24
ribbon-wrapped feather headband, by urban outfitters, $24
flying bird necklace, by urban outfitters, $20
plastic owl ring, by urban outfitters, $10
bicycle earrings by urban outfitters, $12
uo studded feather earrings, by urban outfitters, $24
kimchi blue beaded clutch from urban outfitters, $48
rope bracelet with charms, by urban outfitters, $18
metal mini-purse necklace, by urban outfitters, $28
beaded applique headband by urban outfitters, $24